Yom Haatzmaut 5766

There are so many thoughts running through my head from these last few days. Some random thoughts and observations:

- This first observation is nothing new, but important to state: I remember Rabbi G. and Rabbi P. and Mrs. L. in elementary school and Rabbi H. in high school always talking about moving to Israel. I remember thinking then, "If it's so great and important, why don't you move there?" As I got older, and began to feel the financial, professional and familial pressures, I understood that one could love Israel and really plan to move there without being there just yet. Still, I have to admit that I felt a bit of a hypocrite in America on Yom Haatzmaut. We weren't in Israel even though we could go if we wanted to. Singing on that day and saying Hallel on that day and eating falafel on that day and saying "Chag Sameach" on that day.... I did it all and felt a bit strange. Very strange.

And this year... here we are. The incredible feeling of "We made it" were palpable. I don't know if I could honestly say that they erased all the hard times we've had here, but it really was special. Singing shoulder to shoulder with other people that "made it" and looking at slides at a shul program of early settlers, soldiers, and statesman... I got goose bumps.

- A part of me feels a little bad for my children. Let me rephrase that: a part of me – the part that thinks about their language acclimation, distance from cousins and friends, and detachment from the house that they were born in - feels a lot bad for my children (of course that might just be projection!). But another part of me feels a little bad for them. For as long as I can remember, my family, friends and schools have focused me towards moving to Israel. When I began dating, I only dated women who were interested in moving to Israel. When our first child was born, we made the conscious decision to speak in English because we knew that we'd be in Israel and Hebrew would not be a problem. (A little contrarian no? There are other reasons, but that's for another time). To buy a car or lease? To buy a house or rent? To invest in long-term stocks? Whole life insurance or term? All these decisions and more were weighed against the possibility that perhaps this is the year that we move to Israel and the repercussions that that move would have on these kinds of things.

And now I feel that I may have "taken" that away from my kids. Sure I can do my best to help them appreciate Eretz Yisrael and how fortunate we are to live here etc. But that's very different than copnveying a life-long drive to give up the comforts of America (or wherever you come from) and coming to Israel. In some ways, I feel bad - and worried - for my kids that they will miss out on that experience and those feelings. On the other hand, I would rather have it this way than being in America with those feelings!

- Last week, I also felt an incredible connection to the people of Israel. That is, a feeling that "we are all in this together." We all live here - Ashkenazim, Sfaradim, Israelis, Anglos, Old, Young, etc. - and we're all in it together. I suppose we are supposed to feel that all the time and I try to. But Yom Haatzmaut really brought it out for me.