Traveling to America.... Spouseless
My wife just booked tickets to travel to America in June for a bat mitzvah of a niece. Very nice.
Aside from the general observation that it's a pain in the neck to be separated from my wife, and aside from the other general observation that it's hard being Mr. Mom and working, and aside from the general observation that I really, really appreciate my wife's hard work whenever she leaves..... there is a particular observation that I'd like to share.
It seems that a common part of living in Israel and of making Aliyah is the fact that, usually, part of the family stays behind. So the formula that seems to be an integral component of living here repeats itself in various permutations. Ours is this: We have the bat mitzvah of a niece coming up. We cannot all attend due to financial constraints, and due to our requirement to be at work and school. On the other hand, we have a brother to whom we feel close who is making a simcha. We have a sister-in-law to whom we feel close who is making a simcha. We have a niece to whom we feel close who is celebrating a simcha. We have our children's' cousin to whom they feel close who is celebrating a simcha. We have parents to whom we feel close who's granddaughter and children who are making a simcha.
So how can we not go?
So some representative travels for the simcha. The family here "suffers" (big word, slight exaggeration, but we will definitely be effected). The bank account "suffers" (big word, slight exaggeration, but we our bank account will definitely be effected).
There is the oft-repeated comment, "You'd go if it were not a simcha, chas v'shalom." True. Or we hear, "What is money for if not to be spent for family?" True.
Still, it's a pain to be separated from my wife. And it's a pain being Mr. Mom and working. And I really, really do appreciate my wife's hard work whenever she leaves.
And this is repeated in many homes of Olim throughout Israel.
It's part of kibbutz galuyot.
Aside from the general observation that it's a pain in the neck to be separated from my wife, and aside from the other general observation that it's hard being Mr. Mom and working, and aside from the general observation that I really, really appreciate my wife's hard work whenever she leaves..... there is a particular observation that I'd like to share.
It seems that a common part of living in Israel and of making Aliyah is the fact that, usually, part of the family stays behind. So the formula that seems to be an integral component of living here repeats itself in various permutations. Ours is this: We have the bat mitzvah of a niece coming up. We cannot all attend due to financial constraints, and due to our requirement to be at work and school. On the other hand, we have a brother to whom we feel close who is making a simcha. We have a sister-in-law to whom we feel close who is making a simcha. We have a niece to whom we feel close who is celebrating a simcha. We have our children's' cousin to whom they feel close who is celebrating a simcha. We have parents to whom we feel close who's granddaughter and children who are making a simcha.
So how can we not go?
So some representative travels for the simcha. The family here "suffers" (big word, slight exaggeration, but we will definitely be effected). The bank account "suffers" (big word, slight exaggeration, but we our bank account will definitely be effected).
There is the oft-repeated comment, "You'd go if it were not a simcha, chas v'shalom." True. Or we hear, "What is money for if not to be spent for family?" True.
Still, it's a pain to be separated from my wife. And it's a pain being Mr. Mom and working. And I really, really do appreciate my wife's hard work whenever she leaves.
And this is repeated in many homes of Olim throughout Israel.
It's part of kibbutz galuyot.
posted by T.Y.I.I. at
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
2 Comments:
Your post was thought provoking and brought up many of my feelings that I try not to think about too often. Once again I will be the "reminder" on the wrong side of the ocean. I have missed too many s'machot of relatives in Israel because of family and financial obligations. It is one of the most difficult things that I have to deal with. Sometimes, my husband goes....sometimes I go....and yes, sometimes no one is able to go. During the time that my spouse is away (and i'm sure that the converse is true too) it is really tough. There is solace in knowing that you are being represented or that you are the representative, but it still hurts not to be able to be there all together. Usually I try to give you chizzuk or solace. This one is a tough one though and it is reality. Again, just know that your family on the other end has similar feelings and will continue to when your family begins to have I'YH many s'machot in Artzeinu Hakedoshah.
P.S. To the people who say "You'd go if were not a simcha, chas v'shalom." Or, "What is money for if not to be spent for family?" Why don't you just answer "Are you willing to foot the bill?"
Libby Bamizrach: Once again, you are a source of chizuk. After Pesach I posted about my family leaving and you commented about how the family leaving Israel also feels bad and can't even "fall back" (my words) on the fact that they are, at least, in Israel. That really helped. I then quoted you to my wife and it really, really helped her too. Let's just say that I'll be quoting you again!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home